Week two of food jail is now complete. Life had a lot to throw at me this week. At first I felt it could be an easy excuse. And in times past, there is no question I would have thrown in the hat. But I didn’t.
What has helped me stay on track? There are a few phrases I’ve found to repeat to myself What I’ve previously done has not worked. Give it shot, let it work, and give it time to do what it’s suppose to. Also announcing to others that I am in food jail, everyone is really supportive which is awesome. Sharing my journey is helping to stay accountable and on track. Two examples were a pizza party I left because it was my favorite local pizza and quite frankly I wanted it but didn’t need it. The second was a friend who was recently in food jail helping me make some menu decisions and substitutions to be as close to plan as possible. Both having the support and eagerness to help me through these situations was a huge win this week.
I also started reading a book titled ‘GRIT’. In the first chapter the author talks about the experience of making it at West Point. Further it goes on to talk about all the applied science to analyze a recruit’s ability to make it or not. Despite best efforts, this often is difficult even impossible to predict. So it got me thinking… what causes or drives a person to make it through anything in life? What causes or drives a person to make it through change? What is going to help me make it through this weight loss goal I have put out there?
I’m not sure I have all the answers. But I am starting with my own dissatisfaction in how I look. And spending a few extra moments in the mirror in the morning to simply accept what I am. This is part of what I am doing to remind myself of why. Taking a few moments to reflect on the numbers showing on the scale each week, and diving deeper into am I happy with my ability to move or participate. Do I have energy during the week. These deeper dives I am doing by keeping a personal journal. You may think I am trying to beat myself up or guilt myself. I am by no means trying to beat myself up. I am however, trying to ground myself in reality and have a clear picture of where I am right now. Thus allowing myself to analyze further where I want to be. Being present. Being in the now, and using this to be my guide on where I want to go.
I think what I have done for so long is convince myself that I am better than what is real. I still believe I am beautiful; I just have things I want to change. I believe I am good enough, but there are things I want to be different. It takes significant focus and effort to live in the now and embrace what is. It takes a lot of courage to accept this and make choices each moment that contribute to the change I am seeking.
What I’m learning is that it is a really fine line to walk… living in the present. As easy as it is to explain away, or give excuse it is equally as easy to dream up things are different. It is easy to beat yourself up and feel bad about where we are. To fall victim, to feel loss of control in what has happened or what has gotten us here. Embracing what is now, and accepting where I want to be is a constant reminder of why staying in food jail is important. It’s hard. It’s hard to face the reality of what I am. Mostly because what I am is not what I want to be. Therefor what I do now is not going to get the results. Still I would recommend food jail to anyone who is ready. Still I would recommend the painful journey you will emotionally and mentally face to see it through and succeed.
At this point, I’m still not confident I will be fully successful this time around as I tackle this challenge of weight. But it has certainly been a little different. I’m embracing it a little different. And I’m digging in a little deeper than I ever have. Hopefully there is a little something in this blog post to help you see your truth, to see your path, and gives some encouragement to find a way! Plus the scale is moving the right direction for me so far, and thats a WIN!